Je N'ai Pas De Mots
by Cotton1Candie
Summary: Tamaki has not come out of his room since Allison left. Nor is he the same person. She is his first and only love, and he wants her to come back. Will Allison come back or will they find her in the most unlikely of places? TamakiXoc WARNING: OOCness


**Hello people its been a while! This as you know, is a new Ouran High School Host Club story. This must be made before all hell breaks loose and I have to be put in a straight jacket! ((oh do I wish I had one of those)). But ANYWAY I must get on with this story! I hope this goes better than my other ones!**

**I do not own OHSHC If I did, the host club would be my play toys!**

**((_Tamaki: Even Haruhi?!_**

_**Mistresstaco: Of course, why would I leave her out just because she's a girl? That would be very rude of me! Not gentlemen-like at all!**_

_**Twins: Aren't you a girl?**_

_**Mistresstaco: And whats wrong with that?**_

_**Twins: Nothing nothing**_

_**Tamaki: Daughter, what do you think about all of this?!**_

_**Haruhi: *shrugs* Whatever makes her start the damn story**_

**_Tamaki: *sulks in corner*_))**

**I do however own Allison and her sexy awesomeness ((my girlfriends name is Allison that's why I said that)), and the plot line…here we go!**

* * *

"How is he? He's been in there since the incident." Haruhi asked worriedly, looking at the door that held a hurting friend.

"He hasn't eaten anything since this morning. Knowing Tamaki he wont get over this ever." Haruhi looked over Kyouya with a pained expression. Before she could say anything else Honey-sempai came crashing down the hallway with Takashi, also known as Mori, on his heels.

"Honey-sempai, what the matter." Haruhi asked, feeling even more worried.

"We found her." Kyouya and Haruhi shared looks then looked at the door that had their most likely crying friend.

"Where is she Honey-sempai?" Kyouya asked, taking Haruhi's hand in his which she squeezed. Honey sighed.

"She's been hospitalized for almost suicide." Kyouya and Haruhi looked at each other again and Haruhi covered her eyes with her free hand.

"Someone has to tell him. I'll do it. If I don't then I don't think he will ever be the Tamaki we've always known." Haruhi let go of Kyouya's hand and went to the door that held her grieving friend, more like a brother than anything. She looked back at the other boys and nodded, turning back to the door and opening it, closing it quietly behind her. She looked down at her once cheerful friend. His face, instead of Smiling and cheerful, loving, was twisted in pain with red marks going down his cheeks. His once beautiful purple eyes, now had dark rings around them and were bloodshot. His hands clutching tightly at his chest, his whole body, curled into a ball. Haruhi felt strings pull at her heart as she went to go sit next to her crying friend. She put a hand on one of his with a small, but sad smile.

"Tamaki, honey please are you listening to me?" Tamaki didn't say anything, he just grabbed her hand and held it tightly, telling her to go on.

"Hon, we've found Allison-" He seemed to go ridged at this."-she's been hospitalized for attempting suicide. Do you think you'd be able to handle seeing her again?" Tamaki didn't move, blink, breathe, he didn't do anything for a few minutes. Haruhi squeezed his hand and he sat up, wiping his tears away. He stood up, letting go of Haruhi's hand and looking at the floor.

"Haruhi?" His voice even was different, filled with so much sadness and regret. It was horse from crying, and screaming so much. Haruhi stood up and walked over to Tamaki, she couldn't see his face even though she was somewhat shorter than him.

"Yes, Tamaki?" Tamaki looked at her for the first time in a while with a smile on his face, tears streaming down his face as well.

"Will you make me something to eat? I need to visit someone today and I don't want to go there hungry." Haruhi smiled at him, wrapping her arms around him tightly.

"I will Tamaki. I'll be right back." She let Tamaki go and walked back out into the hallway, where she looked up at Kyouya with a small sad smile.

"He's hungry, he's smiling, and he's going to visit Allison." Kyouya nodded, pulling out his cell and ordering people around again.

*******Tamaki's POV*******

I could still feel her hands on my bare skin. My mind wanders to her face twisted with pleasure and love. Why me? Why did she leave me? We were so happy. We were so in love. And she just left me here. I feel like a rose after its been stepped on by many who do not see him. Allison. She was his voice, breath, his everything. And after that one happy night she just vanished from my life. How did this all happen? Lets go back to when we first met.

*******this is where he starts having flasbacks*******

"ALLISON JESSE GRACE! ALLISON WHERE ARE YOU!?" Allison jumped. Her long blonde locks moving with her. Her icy blue eyes widening with fear. Her slender fingers threw down the cigarette and her petite feet squished it, as she raced back into the small café that she works in, seeing her boss with his arms crossed and foot tapping.

"Y-yes sir?" She bowed and closed her eyes 'shit'.

"What did I tell you about smoking without me?!" Allison smiled and stood up straight.

"Sorry sir, but I really needed one and I couldn't find you!" Her boss laughed and enveloped her into a headlock and ruffled her already messy hair.

"Now you own a coffee and some dinner. Now, you have some customers to wait on. They asked for the prettiest girl that worked here. Table six. Allison shook her head as she smiled, grabbing her notepad and her solid gold pen and waltzed over to table six.

"Why, such beautiful guests! Thank you for choosing Mistress' Café, is there something that I can get you to drink?" Allison looked all around the table of men and one woman with the cutest smile she could muster. Her gaze landed on the last person at the table, a blonde haired, purple eyed boy that looked about her age, smiling up at her in adoration.

"My my does Rich have good taste! I will take some Orange Tea." Allison smiled as her eyes sparkled.

"The Orange Tea? Good choice. That one always reminds me of my home back in Germany when I would sit there and watching the sunset with my loved one." Allison closed her eyes and smiled. Tamaki looked up at her hypnotized. Allison then opened her eyes and looked at Kyouya, the next person over.

"I'm guessing you'd want our coffee?" Kyouya pushed his glasses up.

"Yes I would thank you." She wrote down in her notepad and looked at the next person, Haruhi.

"And what would you like sweetie?" She said winking at Haruhi in a playful manner. Haruhi smiled back.

"Orange Juice please." Allison smiled more if possible.

"I'll make it myself." Haruhi blushed and looked away. Allison turned to the next person who was Honey-sempai.

"And what can I get you cutie?" Honey blushed and smiled.

"H-hot coco please." Allison smiled and giggled.

"Sure, what about you big guy?" She looked up at Mori.

"Water, please." Allison nodded then looked at the Twins. She walked over to them and bent over a little bit.

"And what would you two handsome devils want to drink." The twins gave her a mischievous smile.

"We would like anything that you serve us pretty lady." Allison winked at them and stood up straight.

"My dear I forgot to introduce myself as your waitress! My name is-" She paused for a moment to walk over to Tamaki and become eye level with him.

"-Allison. I'll be right back with you're drinks." She stood up and walked into the kitchen. Tamaki blinked after her.

"Wow she's-" Kyouya cut him off.

"-A fake." Tamaki didn't hear Kyouya .

"-Amazing." He kept staring at the kitchen until Allison came back out with a tray of their drinks, starting at the Twins this time.

"For the devils, I brought my special tea." I turned to Mori and placed the water in front of him. And coco in front of Honey. When she handed Haruhi her orange juice she winked at her, making her blush and looked away again. She handed Kyouya his coffee with a smile. When she reached Tamaki she walked over to him setting his Orange Tea down and grabbed his hand and letting go. Tamaki blushed as she winked and walked away. Tamaki looked down at his hand and saw a paper. He blinked and opened it.

'_Come back at closing time. Three-o-clock. I want to discuss something with you._

_Love Allison'_

Tamaki smiled and looked at his watch. Only two thirty. Everyone was almost done with their drinks.

"We should leave soon. Whose going to pay?" Tamaki turned to Kyouya who looked at Haruhi.

"I will." Everyone turned to Tamaki, who blushed a little and twiddled with his fingers.

"W-well since you guys are almost done and I'm not I-I might as well pay." Everyone shrugged as Tamaki sipped at his tea. It was delicious. He closed his eyes and remembered the time when he was in France with a girlfriend that he had since he was small. He took another sip and remembered holding her close and singing silent love songs at sunset. The next thing he knew he was done with the tea and everyone was gone. Everyone in the Café was gone too. He looked down at his watch.

"Three-o-clock." He said as he looked up to see Allison not in her waitress outfit with a cup of what looked like to be whiskey. She was wearing a black dress shirt that had a few buttons undone, her sparkling chains, clanking against her bright purple skinny jeans. Her knee high converses completed her outfit. Her long blonde hair, pulled up into a neat ponytail, her bangs going across her face. Sitting across from him with a kind of saddened expression.

"Allison?" She looked up at him and smiled, taking a gulp of her drink and setting it down again.

"So, are you Tamaki Suoh?" Tamaki blinked and smiled.

"Indeed I am miss." She let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm glad. I've been looking for you all over Japan! I'm Allison Grace. I work for your mom. She wanted me to make sure you were okay." Tamaki looked a little pained but still stayed smiling.

"I'm doing completely fine. And does-" Tamaki looked a little scared.

"You're grandmother does not know that I'm here. In fact she doesn't even know that I work for your mother." Tamaki sighed in relief and brought his hand over his face.

"How is she? Is she doing okay?" Tamaki looked over at Allison who looked at him sadly, which made his heart twist.

"I'm sorry to say but she has fell very ill. She doesn't have much time left and she really wants you to be there before she…she goes." Tamaki closed his eyes tight and then opening them, looking at the ceiling, crying.

"I can't." Allison looked surprised at his answer.

"My grandmother forbid me to even going to France again." Allison chucked and Tamaki looked at her funny.

"I'm sorry but just looks so cute when you're worried. But you don't have to worry about your grandmother knowing. I've asked your father to arrange a 'school trip' to Germany. We'll go to Germany then to France. Your grandmother will never know." Tamaki blushed and wiped his tears away, smiling.

"T-thank you Allison. Thank you s-so much!" He stood up and walked over to her, picking her up in a hug.

*******Reality*******

Tamaki hugged himself and cried.

"Allison. You were so gentle. You were my angel from heaven. I do not just say these words to any girl, I only say them to the ones that deserve the title. That night, when you didn't believe me was the hardest thing for me ever."

*******their first date*******

Allison giggled as we walked on the grass in the park. She let go of my hand and started to run a little.

"Catch me if you can Mr. Suoh." I smiled and chased after her, I have no idea where she's leading me." I finally catch her and I spin her around in a circle. When I finally let her down she turns around in my arms and looked up at me.

"Oh Allison. Je n'ai pas de mots. You fill me with emotion that I never knew I would ever feel." Her eyes sparkled with tears and happiness. I wiped her tears away and leaned my face closer to hers slowly, as she moved her face closer to mine. Our lips brushed together, and I closed the distance between us. As our lips met, her body pressed against mine. We then realized we needed to breathe and we pulled apart, are lips still touching somewhat. Her eyes shining, her hair glowing in the moonlight.

"Allison." She smiled.

"Tamaki." I gulped. I was going to tell her that I loved her.

"Allison I-"

"I love you Tamaki." I blinked and smiled, kissing her with full passion. After we broke apart I laughed a little bit.

"I love you too Allison. I don't think there ever will be a time where I wont love you." Allison started to cry again and I kissed her softly, lovingly, and rested my forehead on hers.

*******Reality*******

I screamed her name as I held my chest. It felt like someone was squeezing my heart, twisting it, stabbing it, it was hard to breathe, and soon, I was on the floor and couldn't breathe.

*******outside the door*******

Kyouya heard Tamaki scream Allison's name then something fall. He ran to the door and opened it, seeing Tamaki on the ground, having a heart attack. He whipped his phone out and called an ambulance. Kyouya heard a smash and looked behind him and saw Haruhi with her hands covering her mouth. Kyouya stood up and held her close as she cried.

"I'm sure the dope will be okay. He's not ready to give up just yet. He can't. For Allison."

*******At the Hospital*******

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!? TAMAKI PLEASE COME BACK!!!!" Allison kept screaming while trying to get out of her restraints. The doctors came rushing in and sticking a needle in her arm. She soon calmed down, until she heard someone coming into the ER.

"Tamaki Suoh, age sixteen, he had a heart attack at two twenty and was emitted at two twenty five. Lets just hope we can save him." Allison went haywire then. She struggled and struggled but could get out. The doctors came running in again but she started crying and screaming Tamaki's name.

"TAMAKI YOU IDIOT! IF YOU DON'T LIVE I'LL KILL YOU! TAMAKI! No, please be okay please please please please please. Don't die I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." The doctors looked at her with sympathy. One of the female doctors walked up to Allison and put a hand on her shoulder, causing her to look at the doctor.

"Any news that I hear about the boy I'll tell you alright?" Allison blinked.

"Promise me." The doctor smiled sadly.

"I promise." As all the doctors began to leave Allison started to cry herself to sleep.

*******next day*******

"Allison. Allison I have news on the Suoh boy." Allison suddenly woke up to the name of the boy she had left a year ago. She looked over at the doctor that had promised to fill her into his progress.

"He's going to be fine. He's awake now. He's just curls up in the corner of the room or the bed crying your name." Allison started to tear up.

"Can I go see him? Please, this is all my fault. If I never left he. He wouldn't be this way." The doctor sighed and got rid of her restraints. She was attached to any monitors so all she had to do was stand up and walk to the door. She stopped in the doorway.

"Room next to yours to the left." The doctor rubbed her left arm with her right and watched Allison walk out of the room.

Allison walked to the room next to hers and wasted no time opening and closing the door. Tamaki didn't bother looking up from his spot on the bed. Allison then started crying at the way he looks. His once beautiful face was twisted with pain and hurt. His beautiful purple eyes now dull and full of pain. Allison walked over to his bed and sat next to him. He still didn't notice that she was there. She turned on his bed and cupped his cheeks making him look at her. His eyes widen and start to tear up more.

"Tamaki I am so sorry I did this to you. I'm so so so so sorry. Tamaki please forgive me." Tamaki crashed his lips on hers and pulled her to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and played with his hair. His hands were around her waist, pulling her closer to himself. When they pulled back for air, Tamaki left kisses trailing down to her jaw then back up to her lips. Their eyes opened and looked at each other.

"Tamaki, this is all my fault I'm sorry I'm so sorry." Allison's sorry's were drowned out by the sound of Tamaki shushing her.

"Allison. Its alright now. Everything's fine. I'm fine. No need to worry. Please stop crying. Please." Tamaki kissed Allison's eyes and laid down, bringing Allison with him. He pulled the covers over the both of them and pulled her close to him, never letting go. Allison was still crying, as Tamaki rubbed her back. Soon they both fell into a peaceful sleep.

*******later that day*******

"Aw, that's so cute isn't it Chiko-chan?"

"Yes, yes it is Honey-kun!" Tamaki woke up and saw Allison staring at him with a smile. He gave her a small smile and gave her a long passionate kiss.

"Aww Honey-kun, why can't we be like that?" Honey-sempai looked down sadly.

"Well…I-I-" Honey-sempai was cut off as Chiko kissed Honey-sempai's cheek.

"Its okay Honey-kun, I like the way we are now." Honey-sempai smiled and looked at Tamaki smile again for the first time since Allison left. Honey grabbed Chiko's hand and walked out the door to give them some privacy.

"Allison. I don't know what I would do without you. I have a song that I wrote for you. But you left before I could sing it to you." Allison looked into Tamaki's eyes and smiled.

"Lets hear it then." Tamaki smiled and kissed Allison.

"I'll need a piano." Allison giggled.

"There's one in the lounge. There's no one in there if you want, I can bring you there." Allison and Tamaki looked over to see the same doctor that promised Allison. They both smiled and nodded, getting out of the bed and walking with the kind doctor. When they made it to the room Tamaki walked in. pulling Allison with him. She smiled as she was pulled to the piano and when Tamaki sat down, he pulled Allison on his lap. Allison looked at Tamaki over her shoulder just in time for him to capture her lips for a second.

"This is for you Allison. I love you and always will." Tamaki started the song smiling.

_Come near and stand by me, enough to reach out and pull you still closer,All that is swelling within me,Must be a language I've never spoken Till there was you,I fumbled try but I stumbled,Over all my heart wants to say now,Je n'ai pas de mots,Nothing seems to say the way you move me,Rushing through me,Je n'ai pas de mots,But a promise has been made you can believe this,From the first kiss,It's good that I don't have to speak to know that it's real,Je n'ai pas de near and talk to me baby,How did you know you were,The dream of this dreamer,Oh god how I thank you for reading,In my heart the note I didn't even Know that I wrote,Of what I long for,You gave me much more,Love is standing beside me,Je n'ai pas de mots,Nothing seems to say the way you move me,Rushing through me,Je n'ai pas de mots,But a promise has been made you can believe this,From the first kiss,Je n'ai pas de mots,Oh! Nothing seems to say the way you move me,Rushing through me,Je n'ai pas de mots,But a promise has been made you can believe this,From the first kiss,It's good that I don't have to speak to know that it's real,Je n'ai pas de mots,Je n'ai pas de mots,Je n'ai pas de mots._

Allison ran her hands down his arms to his hands where she held onto them tightly. Tamaki nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck and kissed it.

"Tamaki, I love you. I'm sorry I left. I didn't want to hurt you. But it seems I hurt you more by leaving than staying and-" Tamaki moved Allison so that her legs were wrapped around his waist and she was pressed into him as much as he could get. His lips brushed against hers.

"It's alright now Allison. What happened in the past, is in the past. You're here now and that's all that matters." Allison started to cry and smiled. She crashed her lips onto his, tangling her fingers in his hair. Tamaki's hands rubbed her thighs for a while until she pushed into him more making him gasp. He slid his hands to her hips as she slid her hands down his chest.

"Am I interrupting something?" Tamaki opened one eye to see Kyouya standing there with a smirk playing on his lips. Tamaki closed his eye and wave Kyouya away. Kyouya shook his head and left the room. He turned to the doctor with a small smile.

"Can you please make sure no one goes in that room? I don't think those two would want people to ruin their…intimate moment." The doctor nodded and smiled up at Kyouya as he walked away.

*******a few weeks later*******

"Ahhh, were finally out of the hospital! I don't think I could have taken it much longer." Allison stretched her arms over her head as Tamaki stared at her.

"Oh, but my darling princess, you were in there for almost killing yourself. And for what reason you haven't told me yet." Allison looked up at Tamaki and blinked.

"I thought you would already know by now." Tamaki looked confused. And Allison sighed then smiled. She stood in front of him and took his hand, putting it on her abdomen. Tamaki didn't get it then blushed.

"Y-you're having a baby!? B-but how?! When?!" Allison laughed then kissed him to make him be quiet.

"No you silly nutcase! I already had a baby! But I tried to kill myself because my grandmother took her away from me." Tamaki looked down at Allison sadly.

"Why did toy leave anyway?" Allison then looked a little uncomfortable.

"I was afraid that you would run off on me because I was going to have your child at fifteen." Tamaki sighed then drew her into a loving hug, whispering in her ear.

"They how about we, make another one my love?" Allison giggled and looked into Tamaki's eyes then at his lips.

"Mmmmm, I would love that." Tamaki captured her lips in a passionate kiss.

_**THE END**_

**Oh my gawd every time I had write Tamaki in pain I would cry. I had to stop writing each time to go read something happy with Tamaki in it because I couldn't stand the fact I put him in so much pain. I feel so bad for writing this! Well I couldn't help but give him a happy ending. I was actually going to kill her off then he would have another heart attack and die. This ending is so much better. And if you guys want I can make a sequel to this…if it was good enough for you. Just give me reviews and I'll think about it.**

**Peace love and pocky,**

**Crackers!**


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